【Radical remarks made at a girl’s association in Japan】Beautiful stories from far away From Japan

2024-03-22 ｜ TOSHI

❙ Radical remarks made at a girl’s association in Japan

I like women, especially Japanese women. I don’t mean it as a kind of sexual attraction, but I feel comfortable when I’m with them.

Maybe it was because I was close to my mother, or maybe it was the environment. It was quite a while ago, but I graduated from an all-girls school, and perhaps because of the experiences I picked up there, I spent a lot of time in a female-only world.

And did you know? In Japan, there is something called a “girls’ association”.

It is a gathering, dinner, or party held without men present. Japanese women, especially when they get married, even if they are single, once they have a lover, they often cut off private and deep relationships with people of the opposite sex other than their chosen partner.

❙ “Men and women should not share the same seat at the age of seven”

There is an old Japanese proverb that goes, “Men and women should not share the same seat at the age of seven,” and that saying may still be widely accepted in Japan today.

It is usual for young people to enjoy their youth by playing in mixed-sex groups. Also, in some countries, it’s typical for men and women to be friends and not say anything to the people around them (how? Is it okay to go out for drinks for two? Or just talk? ), this may have been especially true since the Tokai Region of Japan, where I grew up, is conservative. There are still women’s colleges there.

If a married housewife has one-on-one contact with a man, rumors may spread, so when her husband is not around, there will be more opportunities for women to gather alone.

Even people who are not married and have a boyfriend tend to be like this. Partly because of this, there are many groups where only girls and women gather together.

You can chat, drink tea and alcohol, go to hot springs and talk about things…Many establishments, whether restaurants or hotels, have plans that allow for lower rates for women-only groups. Many business establishments often welcome and even advertise for girls-only parties.

When I read the accounts of foreign women living in Japan, especially white women, I often find myself surprised by the Japanese custom of “girls’ ‘association’ and the way Japanese women behave and sometimes transform.

Are Japanese women considered to be ladylike? There is a side to it, but in other words, she is playing the role of becoming a woman who satisfies a man (sometimes it is motivated by love for a man, other times she is motivated by a relationship with a man with good prosperities). The purpose is to enhance one’s own values and life, among other things.

“When in the girls-only environment, girls and women can take off their masks of `’a man-pleasing woman” and simply be themselves.”

There is no denying that there is this aspect.

That’s very sexist. But that’s one of the big reasons.

A few years ago, I had a young female friend who was more than ten years younger than me and whom I met through a hobby. She was a young, beautiful woman who had graduated from a prestigious local women’s university and was working at a bank. She was the daughter of the president of a liberal arts company.

It was interesting to have them join their “girls’ night out.” She had a sophisticated and was stylish and we enjoyed many Vietnamese food and rare Vietnamese drinks.

She once told me: “TOSHI, you look younger than your age. Are you not okay with younger men?”

Or something like that.

“You are older than us, so you need some fresh baby seeds, I think”

When a woman from a good family who graduated from a prestigious women’s university said this, I was shocked.

So if you are a woman who speaks Japanese, I think it would be fun to make friends and join this “girls’ association”.

My question and hope is: Are there such groups in other countries?

For example, what about in Korea? I would like to attend a gathering of Islamic women someday.

Girls’ nights out may be fun, but it’s true that Japan’s sexism is still strong at its core, and Japan’s gender gap index is 125rd in the world.

However, yesterday I was reading a book called A Book on How to Become an Attractive Woman, and although it was instructive in some ways, but the author was a man, and most of what was written there was “What do men think? How men will choose women?” There is no perspective on what the woman wants to say, where her intentions, emotions, and true feelings lie.

When I realized this, I felt like something was touching my chest.

After coming to Tokyo, I joined a mild feminist group that you can join for about 1,200 yen a month. There, I was able to talk a little with some Muslim women.

What do you think when you hear this story? Even if you are a man, I look forward to your helpful comments. I want some answers.

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※TOSHI, I had been a writer who mainly focuses on food for around 5 years. I am looking for media that will publish my essays about Japan, gourmet Mystery novel (※), etc. Feel free to contact me via ClubRosy’s X (Twitter) DM. https://twitter.com/ClubRosy

or Email toshijprose●gmail.com (change ● to @ please)

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Helpful feedback is always welcome!

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The articles I wrote

TABIZINE　⇩⇩
http://tabizine.jp/author/toshi/

Novels　
(※)The casebook of Tokyo gourmet writer

[The case of Beautiful Girl Cooking Expert]　⇩⇩

https://kakuyomu.jp/works/16817330650906127298

amazon page of TOSHI’s book（竹井夙 Toshi TAKEI’s book）⇩⇩ [美しい人々　Beautiful people] etc.
https://www.amazon.co.jp/%E6%9C%AC-%E7%AB%B9%E4%BA%95-%E5%A4%99/s?rh=n%3A465392%2Cp_27%3A%E7%AB%B9%E4%BA%95+%E5%A4%99

The casebook of gourmet writer

[Mystery around Chinese tea]⇩⇩

https://kakuyomu.jp/works/1177354054894423195

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